Today I had a conversation with two friends. The situation dealt with a friend who recently broke up with her boyfriend of two years (officially). She has broken up with him before in effort to get him to be a more driven, emotionally-expressive individual, but this was the final straw. She communicated her desire for him to express his love for her at least once in a while and wish for him to be more goal-oriented. But the countless amounts of hints and direct declarations she told him were not enough to get him to realize her needs.

How can one stay with someone who has differing ethical principles? Should she stay with him? If these morals or desires are extremely essential in one’s particular relationship, why be with those that lack them? I understand that relationships don’t contain all of one’s desires, but I think these essential needs should be met by the person one plans to spend some time with. Is not the point of a relationship to get to know someone and for them to positively complement one’s life? Why not let them go if they don’t meet one’s needs?

Though I support terminating the relationship, some may argue bringing the relationship to an end would not be a good thing. It may be argued that one’s emotional and time investment into an individual may be too great to discontinue a relationship. Others may support overlooking the “negatives” and focusing on the positives a person has to give. Some may even say stressing the commonalities between the two partners makes up for the areas in which the other partner may be deficient. 

Though these are valid points, I differ. Here’s why:

Emotional investment and time investment are components to a well-functioning relationship, but that doesn’t mean breaking things off will mean the time was badly spent. It just means that an individual has learned and realized that the other is not a good match for them. It’s nice to know that one is able to identify when things just aren’t working due to a single-sided effort in the relationship. There needs to be equilibrium in input for this bond to flourish, it can’t be one-sided/heavily supported by only one person. Then the relationship becomes more of a burden rather than something for emotional pleasure. At the very least, the product of this time spent would be credit for stating one gave the relationship “enough time” and lots of effort for the relationship to work, but ultimately it did not meet one’s desired outcome.

Overlooking MINOR negatives I think is fine because they are tolerable. However, I believe that having completely different moral philosophies, or highly contradicting ones, can cause much larger conflicts in the future. This would be especially true if one person is giving their opinion on something, and other listens, but doesn’t take in any of the information they’re being told about.  It’s like having a liberal and a conservative put together. It may work if both are willing to hear out each other’s opinions, but if the information is going through one ear and out the other, it’s hard to reach middle ground. Many people want a picture perfect relationship, but let’s be real! That doesn’t happen unless the people are being untrue to each other. Is this the type of relationship you desire? If I put myself in this situation, I would not favor this kind of a relationship. Let’s not overlook the negatives. If the other is willing and makes an effort to reach a medium, I think that is a sign that someone loves you. It’s not that they’ll change for you, it’s that they’ll meet you have way to reach a “happy medium.”

Commonalities are great, but I don’t think they can hide the fact that an individual is lacking in essential areas. One’s reasons for wanting to be in a relationship (e.g. someone to care for you, appreciate you, be your emotional support)..if they’re not being met, what’s the purpose for being in one then? Let’s give an example. Let’s say someone is a devoted Christian and since this is a huge part of the way they live life, it’s important that their significant other possess this moral attribute. Now, let’s say this person later comes across another individual that has just about everything they want and more. However, this person lacks that “something” of utmost importance: their connection to Christ. Is it possible cover-up/ignore these fundamental needs? Can the commonalities supersede the other’s qualities or is the religious difference going to cause greater issues in the future?

When so much effort has been put in to make someone understand your side of the spectrum, but they reject/are nonchalant about your values, what does that say about the future of your relationship?

Of course all of this information is based off of my opinion, but I think ultimate solution would be to leave this up to interpreter’s perspective. The needs and wants of a relationship and definition of what a “good” relationship is should be established. By doing so, the interpreter can evaluate their relationship and decide what’s the best option for themselves. At the end of the day, anyone can give advice and their point of view, but what is most important to the self is what ultimately COUNTS.

Please don’t judge my poor grammar! And I got sleepy towards the end, so I hope all of this makes sense.  :)

Sometimes I wonder if I’m the deficient one? This is probably it. You know, I always ruin it. When things are going well for me, I mess it all up. I think I’m just so scared of getting my heart broken that I make excuses to avoid even getting near a relationship. Truth is, I’m so into this boy. He’s taken my breath away and has yet to realize he’s the only one I want. I just can’t have him and that really sucks. Maybe, it could’ve been a possibility, but I just destroyed the bit of hope I had left.

I typed an entire message that got deleted!! >:O

But this picture pretty much sums it up. Just change the son to daughter.

HARRY: Is this all real or it’s just happening inside of my head?
DUMBLEDORE: Of course it’s happening inside your head Harry! Why should that mean that it’s not real?

I was trying to figure out how to change my picture & accidentally posted something on someone’s post. How can I delete it?

These romance films that I watch all make me want a special “someone.” Someone who cares about me, who caters to me, who makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Someone to talk about my day with, who can listen to my whimsical remarks and not judge me and laugh with me, who can be my best friend, who can be happy with who I am. Someone who can like me for me.

But you, romance films, are deceiving. You paint the beautiful picture, make every girl in the universe (or for the most part) want to have the same fictitious relationship that is promoted. You never mentioned the ugliness in relationships. You never mentioned the jealousy that comes when he picks another girl over the one he’s with, the pain when he hits where it hurts because he knows everything about the one he’s with, the agony when he decides he wants “a break” from the one he’s with. You never mentioned the contract one signs after uttering the words “I Love You.”

So I say to you, films, fuck your fabricated, unreachable, blissful, spuriously-illustrated relationship. Show the truthful, semi-dysfunctional relationships. I think that by doing so, by showing the world what relationships REALLY look like, you’ll be saving many marriages. Because of you, I feel that many of the couples today join as man and wife without being truly committed to each other. They get hitched for all the wrong reasons which you have clearly exploited over and over again in every film. Many contemporary couples have barred marriage from being sacred anymore. By showing the world what real couples act like, maybe couples can remember and learn that it’s not about marrying because it’s a fad, but rather about keeping the one that they can connect with in a special, unique, one-of-a-kind way by their side forever.

Films, help everyone by showing them that things won’t always be perfect, but if you really love someone, you’ll dig deep into the other’s core and find the jem that reminds you of the reason why they love each other so much.

(I know I misused the correct pronouns, but wtvr.)

Jibber-Jabber. NON-sense-icle-ness.

1:13 A.M.

I can’t focus, I can’t sleep. No power, desire present, and so is mental blockage. As I look back and forth. Computer, phone, bed, book. My eyes wander. back and forth, side to side, around and around. The clock keeps ticking. Slowly, I take a deep breath. Gulp. Open the notebook. Stare. Words…beginning to mesh together, slowly intertwining. What do they mean? Sweat down my face. Panic. Close the notebook, then eyes. Fear of failure. Epiphanies, memories; flash. What happened to the times when I had no worries? When a decision didn’t determine my future? I can do this. I can’t do this. Constant negativity, seldom positive images; thoughts. Again, I re-open my notebook. my heart begins to palpitate faster than I can think…impossible. My thoughts create the image of agile heartbeats. Worried. Anxious. Scared. And now, the moment of commencement. 1:21 A.M. Will I ever start these essays? If I don’t, I will FAIL. FAIL. FAIL. Failure: The idea behind all my actions, thoughts, feelings. What an abhorrent life. Let’s just hope for the best. 1:27 A.M. Let’s. Do. This.

anything-everything-nothing:

awkwardshortkid:

wallowinginmyownselfcreys:

I’m a lesbian, so I must have a crush on every girl I see.

 I have alot of guy friends, so I must be fucking every single one of them.

I smile alot, so I must have the perfect life.

I listen to reggae, so I must be a stoner.

My opinion matters, so I must be a snob.

I’m black, so I must be ghetto.

I’m black, so I must be stupid.

I’m Mexican, so I must be low class.

I’m bisexual, so I must get around.

I’m straight up blunt, so I must be a bitch.

I like to drink, so I must be an alcoholic.

I don’t hang out with guys, so I must be a lesbian.

I cut myself, so I must be emo.

I’m bisexual, so I must be fucking my straight best friend.

I laugh and smile, so I cannot be depressed.

I like spending my day at home, so I don’t have any friends.

I am gay, so I must be bullied.

Most of my friends are dudes, so I must be a tomboy.

I’m on Tumblr, so I must have zero friends in real life.

I’m a Muslim, so I must be a terrorist.

I make alot of mistakes, so I must be stupid/retarded.

I strongly defend LGBT, so I must be gay.

I’m from a broken family, so I must be a rebel.

I like rasta colors, so I must smoke weed.

I’ve had sex, so I must be a slut.

I’ve made mistakes, so I must be untrustworthy.

I’m a Filipino, so I must be a maid.

I’m a Politician, so I must be corrupt.

I’m Blonde, so I must be really stupid.

I’m wearing a black shirt, so I must be emo.

I wear make up, so I must be a flirt.

I am a teenager, so I must be misunderstood.

Forever reblog.

I am a woman, so I must be a housewife. 

He seems right around a perfect fit for me. He’s tall, family-oriented, intelligent*, sweet, romantic, and most of all…ATTRACTIVE : ). Realistically speaking though, he will never be mine. He’s a great person to be around though. I’ve known who he is since last year, but never really spoke to him.

Anyway, I guess “the moral” of my little story is that us girls tend to fall for someone we can never have. Not saying that I’m in love with the guy or anything, it just brought me to think about one of the takes I have on relationships. Like Chris Rock said, the only reason why woman act sourly with their husbands is because he wasn’t her first choice. I believe that for most relationships this might be true. Either the person a woman first falls in love with (deeply) leaves them or is out of otheir reach. Of course, this is solely my opinion and I stand behind it because I feel like that will be the case for me. Although I have not experienced “love” besides the unconditional one from my family, I feel this is how my love life might play out as well.

How about you? What are your takes?

So I came across this document when I was doing some research on the district representatives of LAUSD in December of 2010. It’s a ranking (in tiers) of all the schools that are a part of LAUSD and displays that there was criteria to be met by each school. Unfortunately, about 76% of the schools listed did not meet the standards. This document is appalling. Take a look at it and get to know your school district. Is change needed? Do you see a trend in the areas that do not meet the LAUSD criteria?

Seeing this documents rejuvenates my desire to pursue a degree in educational administration, curriculum reform, or counseling. I want to be a part of a movement that changes the way district budgets are used, that changes the percentage of teachers on their emergency credentials, that changes the aspirations of students in underpriviledged schools.

Let’s fight for what is right. let’s bring about change in our community.